Friday, May 21, 2010

No Joke: Thirteen (plus) things your burglar won't tell you.


1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your
carpets, paint ing your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in
your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window
to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste... and taste means
there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always
make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I
might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes
you to remove it..

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car
and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your
alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That
makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the
windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and
your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to
lock your door - understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day
off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions
somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check
dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where
you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm
system . If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of
town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the
flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at


1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy
and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If
your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait
to hear it again.. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to
what he was doing. It's human nature.

4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy
alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're
home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or
walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds,
just to pick my targets.

6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier
than you think to look up your address.

7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way
to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.

8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit
the jackpot and walk right in.

Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, and
Kentucky ; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs
and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of
Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars
on the Job


If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's
evil plans for you:

*Wasp Spray*

A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was
concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them
when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police
department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she
get a can of wasp spray instead.

The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a
lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too
close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds
an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a
can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from
people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at
home for home protection.. Thought this was interesting and might be of


Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr's
office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across. Put
your car keys beside your bed at night.

If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your
house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set
off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or
the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch
coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put
your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you
probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go
off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until
your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key
fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car
alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are
the burglar/rapist won't stick around. After a few seconds all the
neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and
sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your
keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the
same way there. This is something that should really be shared with
everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

Posted via email from ViperGeek's posterous

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