Tuesday, May 01, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
After searching the Internet for days trying to figure out how to get my Windows 7 Ultimate 64-bit system to display MKV thumbnails, I ran across an incredibly simple solution:
Monday, January 09, 2012
· Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
· The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him. "Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied.
· He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel"? He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell!"
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must
be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and
asks, "What's with the money in the jar?" "Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the
money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus." The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the
three tests?" "You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules." So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10
which he stuffs into the jar. "Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do: First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or
less, and you can't make a face while doing it." "Second - There's a pit bull chained in the backwith a bad tooth. You
have to remove that tooth with your bare hands." "Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You
have to take care of that problem." The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I
won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then
do all those other things!" "Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is." As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says,
"Where's the damn tequila?!" He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he
drinks it in 58 seconds! Next, he staggers out the back door where he
sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar
hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then
nothing but silence! Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back
into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from
bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's
that old woman with the bad tooth?"
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Monday, November 01, 2010
contest with unbelievably clever humor contributed by thousands of
readers. It's published every Saturday in The Post's Style (features)
section, and every Friday afternoon at about 3:30. There are neologism
contests regularly, but also lots of other sources of humor as well. Here are the winners of a recent neologism (new word) contest: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid. 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it. 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer. 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you. 13. Glibido: All talk and no action. 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly. 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
USB SuperCharger: Where have you been all my life?!?!?
Time for a little background before I get all gushy about this new-found gold mine of USB flash drive performance. I'm a huge fan of PortableApps. Aside from running Thunderbird, Firefox, FileZilla, Pidgin, KeePass, and Skype as portable applications off of my 64GB USB flash drive, I have at least two dozen other portable apps installed, just in case I have the need or desire to run them while not sitting at one of my home/office computers. On a regular basis — at least eight hours a weekday — I have three or more portable apps running constantly.
These applications, while streamlined to be HD-dependent, are at times "chatty Cathys" reading and writing and fragmenting and wearing out my USB flash drive's NAND memory until there's nothing left. The performance hit varies, depending on flash drive vendor. I typically do a day's worth of research, buy the biggest, fastest, most expensive USB flash drive I can find, then run it from 6-12 months before I start seeing smoke pour out from around the USB connector; not literally of course, but all good MLC NANDs eventually give up the ghost after a kajillion read/write operations. Performance during the lifetime of these latest/greatest USB flash drives is acceptable at best, and vein-burstingly frustrating at worst, which is where I was ... until yesterday. Enter my new best friend: USB SuperCharger from Easy Computing.
Upon first glance, USB SuperCharger looks to be black magic, deal-with-the-devil, impossibly too good to be true, snake oil. Claims on the site imply improvements from nothing to 1000X faster (yes, boys and girls, they're talking 100,000% faster). C'mon. Give me some credit here. That, coupled with the fact that there's no Try Before You Buy option, aside from the ability to install it for free on a 1-2GB flash drive, makes you wonder if they're just out to get your hard-earned PayPal cash. Well, y'know what? They aren't! USB SuperCharger rocks!!!
I installed the software on a 2GB USB flash drive, then installed Firefox 4 Beta 6 from PortableApps.com. As soon as I brought up the application, I had to double-check the flash drive's access LED to insure that I hadn't started Firefox from the HD by mistake. The application came up instantly. As I continued to surf, I continued to be impressed. There is seriously a night and day difference between running portable apps with and without USB SuperCharger. I couldn't believe it, and after buying a 64GB license, I still can't believe it. The improvement is nothing short of astounding.
There have been claims that some combinations of installation and bad habits have caused fatal corruption of the data, but so far I've been running perfectly clean. Any self-respecting USB flash drive owner should have backups anyway (flash drive lifetime is finite), but it's something to watch out for. Also, I ran into a problem with accessing — or more accurately, formatting — more than 32GB of virtual supercharged flash drive under Windows XP. I've got an e-mail into their Support group for assistance, but it's not like the other 32GB is wasted; just un-supercharged. I still have access in case I need it for archiving or temporary storage.
In a nutshell, if you are a heavy user of USB flash drives, stop what you're doing, click on one of the hotlinks I've provided in this blog post, and purchase USB SuperCharger immediately. You will absolutely not be disappointed.